


Cosplay

by quartile



Category: Homestuck, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: (to me at least), Cosplay, Davekat Week 2016, Fandom, Humor, M/M, Post-Retcon Meteor, Star Trek References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 13:04:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8145023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quartile/pseuds/quartile
Summary: What if Dave introduced Karkat to Star Trek cosplay?--COOL INSIGNIA. ABSURD PANTS. WHAT IS EVEN UP WITH THE CUFFS? DID THE ENTERPRISE HAVE FLOODING PROBLEMS?nah broyou look sharpthe pants really show off your ass





	

COOL INSIGNIA. ABSURD PANTS. WHAT GENIUS DECIDED IT MADE THE REMOTEST AMOUNT OF SENSE TO PUT THESE BOOTS AND THESE PANTS TOGETHER? WHAT IS EVEN UP WITH THE CUFFS? DID THE ENTERPRISE HAVE FLOODING PROBLEMS?

nah bro  
you look sharp  
the pants really show off your ass

HEY! EYES UP HERE. TELL ME MORE ABOUT MY GUY. IS HE A WARRIOR? 

shrug  
maybe his great-great-granddad was

THROW ME A BONE HERE, YAMMERTWAT. 

his people used to be warriors until they were forced to be peaceful  
like they nearly fought each other to extinction  
then they got a grip  
they got the cosmic shoosh and now that shit is ice cold

BUT HE'S PASSIONATE. A LOVER, NOT A FIGHTER. 

i wouldnt go that far

IF I'M GOING TO PLAY HIM, HE'S GOT TO HAVE DEPTH. ROMANCE. THE SOUL OF A POET. 

kiiiind of no

THEN WHAT IS HE? 

hes the science officer

WHAT. 

hes the science officer

WHAT THE FUCK IS A SCIENCE OFFICER? 

dunno  
he collects data  
he answers questions  
hes like vulcan google

OH COME ON. 

hes also the first officer  
so hes the most important guy

GOOD. THAT'S BETTER. OF COURSE I AM. 

after my guy

DOUBLEYOU. TEE. EFF. 

youre the first officer which makes you second in command  
first means one away from the top  
kirks the ships captain thats me

FUCK YOU, STOP YANKING MY CHAIN. YOU ARE MAKING THIS UP. MY GUY IS IN CHARGE. I AM THE LEADER. IT'S ME. 

aww

WHAT? 

you just referenced my shitty comic  
swoon

SWEET GREASY MOTHER GRUB. PIPE DOWN. 

swoooooooon  
roo ruv me

YOU'RE THE REASON I SUFFER, YOU PITIABLE DISASTER. ANYWAY, MY GUY'S PROBABLY GUNNING FOR THE CAPTAIN'S CHAIR. 

nope  
loyal as a saint bernard  
good spock best friend

BUT HE SEETHES WITH THE DESIRE TO BE ON TOP. 

... yes

TELL ME I AT LEAST GET STIRRING MONOLOGUES. EMOTIONAL AND EXPRESSIVE. 

uh

SPIT IT OUT. 

he shows no emotion ever

OH FUCK NO. 

thats his shtick  
vulcan  
lime green blood  
chiller than chill  
flawlessly logical

... 

what

LIME. GREEN. BLOOD. 

yeah so what

MY GUY IS EVEN MORE OF A MUTANT THAN ME??? 

dude sit down i havent even told you about his cool knockout pinch

NO. I QUIT. I'M NOT PLAYING YOUR STUPID STAR TWITS. 

you get intense dramatic scenes with a hot blond

... 

... 

FASCINATING. 


End file.
